I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
