You can't motorboat a personality
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
