just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Still dying that you shit outside
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
pray to the hookup gods
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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