I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
