I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
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Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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