Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
where are you?
Hypothermia
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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