New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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