"it" just moved
my phone needs a breathalizer
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
