in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
