Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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