Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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