please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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