just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
