oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
