it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
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So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
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She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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