at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
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If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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