Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize