Everything about him screamed your future.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
