I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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