she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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