tell your sister to shave her snatch
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
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One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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