Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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