So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize