we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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