Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
