I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
