So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
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They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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