You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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