sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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