I must be too annoying 4 u.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Someone came in the potted fern
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
