i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
