WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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