i will never coherently bang her
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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