Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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