I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
