we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize