its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
