Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
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What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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