Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
