Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
