Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
sex in a hospital.. check
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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