So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
that's an acceptable place to lick
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
