I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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