pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
