I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You can't motorboat a personality
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize