If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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