Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The best revenge is premature balding
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
