So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
