I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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