You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
