i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
