im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
