i don't plan on having that self control this summer
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
