great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she smelled like a LAN party
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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