I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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