talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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