This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
