I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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