I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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