never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
