I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
