She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
