Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
