please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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